Need the Cliff's Notes for Adulthood. And parenthood.

There are days, many days, when I feel completely bewildered by and unprepared for being a grown-up, let alone a parent. I got more training learning to drive a car.

An example: Big Guns came to visit and my baby was a full-grown/blown asshole to him and me. I wanted to ignore it (and I would if it had just been me) but it can't go on. Do I punish him because he's angry? How do I teach a kid to express his anger appropriately when I don't know how to do it myself? If he were older and I were still a drunk, I'd offer him a glass of wine.

I know this isn't how he expected things to turn out. It's not what I planned, either. And I'm angry, too. I'd like to tell him to take some of his attitude and give it to his dad who is the one who left after all. I'm having fantasies of selling or giving everything away and going to Haiti where I can help and people might appreciate it. Or maybe take a backpack to Europe and start smoking and tanning.