Breaking up while still divorcing is a painful as it sounds.

So I broke up with big guns on Thursday. That hurt. My baby asked me why and -- not that I would tell him -- but I didn't have a good answer. Lots of reasons but the main one is that I wasn't ready to be somebody's wife again. Yet. I was having dinner ready for him when he showed up. I was a hair's length away from offering to do his laundry. We moved through the dating phase way too quickly. It's half my fault; I see that. After much crying, yelling, and talking, I decided that I would still like to date him. So it was less of a complete break up and more of a re-group. I wish I could skip all this and just be comfortable and happy and settled again. I'm no good at upheaval and change. I'm no good at boring stability either. What was I good at? Creating my own dramas. The same thing all addicts are good at.