Split: Book Review

I just finished Suzanne Finnamore's memoir of divorce, Split, and I liked it. I should say that many years ago a friend gave me Finnnamore's first published book: Otherwise Engaged, which was a bestseller and which my friend loved. I didn't. I had just quit my job to stay home with my second baby and was having an identity crisis, mixed with an intense fear of going on food stamps, topped by severe, prolonged sleep deprivation. Finnamore, on the other hand, was writing about falling in love with Mr. Perfect and days of wacky wedding planning. Furthermore, she was an advertising copywriter like I had been but way way WAY more successful. Honestly, I loathed the book. And her.

But Pollyanna has no role in Split. Mr. Perfect has left and Finnamore has written an honest, gripping account of divorce. The memoir covers her first, pre-loved year and half. During that time, she dissects the emotional process they go through to peel themselves apart. (This includes cheating on Mr. P's new girlfriend with each other, late-night phone calls, and prolonged visits under the pretense of dropping off/picking up their child.)

Of course I compared my situation to hers because if I'm good at anything, it's comparing myself to others. I realized that after my ex left, he didn't look back. He was here, then he was gone. Poof! I know, I know, there were those years in marriage counseling but I was focused on staying together while the ex was using the time preparing his leave of me and the boys. By the time he signed the lease on his apartment and packed up the Le Crueset, he was gone. Bye bye. Don't call; I won't answer.

I got gypped on my transition period. This blog is a poor substitute, although it's a lot like the marriage: one-sided and silent.