Boundaries are a bitch.

When a gal feels buffeted about by life, rudder- and anchor-less, ineffectual and hopeless, that gal is having boundary issues.

My wise therapist suggested that I may have this problem and it might serve me to read this book -- Boundaries: when to say no, when to say yes to take control of your life.

I used to think that having boundaries made me appear inflexible and -- horrors! -- selfish. I used to think it was just saying "no" all the time and that people would -- horrors! -- NOT like me if I didn't always give them what they wanted. So, every request from every person -- including my cats, I kid you not -- takes equal precedence in my head. It's very loud in there. I can't hear myself think. Then I get angry because I like my own thoughts. According to the book and the author's example of a stressed-out mother of two (coincidence?), this is text-book boundary trouble.

I can't tell you what boundaries are because I haven't finished the book but clearly it helps to have them. People appreciate it when you give them limits. It helps your children be able to delay gratification when you don't give them what they want -- RIGHT NOW -- so that they will stop talking at you and you can get back to your own thinking.

I'll keep y'all posted.