I'm reading the boundary book and, like reading medical texts, I seem to have all the boundary issues. I'm a compliant avoidant controller. This means I feel controlled and guilty by others and can't say no while at the same time I'm unwilling to accept help from others, plus I can't hear no and manipulatively violate others' boundaries. What a piece of work.
I see now that I try to control people with my anger. Rats. This may be why Big Guns sometimes looks confused and will ask what he did. Nothing, really, that's just me trying to control you. Also why ex used to say our house wasn't big enough for me and my anger. Yuck. I'm disgusted with myself. Here's my family's motto:
Anger. It's how to make things happen.
Or:
I yell. You jump.
How did this happen? My parents, of course, not setting limits or being consistent during my rapprochement phase from 18 months to three years, plus my innate character traits (I'm soft on the outside but steely on the inside), depravity and resistance to humility. The perfect recipe. Self help books aren't much fun to read.
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