Death wishes.

I can't deny that some days I wish my ex had just died instead of divorced me. It would still be sad but mournfully so. Nobody would think it was half my fault -- unlike marriage, death doesn't take two to tango. Our union would be eternally remembered as tragic rather than a colossal failure. And when the ex didn't respond to my emails and phone calls I would know why -- because he'd be six feet under. So nice.