Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Taking an "F" in the Forum

As soon as we settled into the basement conference room, our Landmark Forum® leader began promising us that by Sunday evening we would transform, or "pop" as she liked to call it. (It's the moment of epiphany when you realize that you've been doing everything wrong or how to do everything right except that there is no wrong or right.) She said some of us would pop early and some of us later, but most would pop on Sunday. The pressure to pop made me anxious so I went up to the mic and voiced my concerns. I'm afraid I got labeled as the seminar cynic. (It's not bad to be the cynic if you're the good kind of cynic a la Mark Twain. Unfortunately I'm the bad kind of cynic -- anxious and fearful.)

What followed was three days/39 hours of listening which is difficult for me because I like to talk or at least respond to what's being said. I had some mini epiphanies, tiny aneurisms of self awareness, but no major pop like some of the yippee skippy folks who were jumping around as if Jesus had just come into their hearts. Indeed, at times the Landmark Forum® feels like a revival because it's all about promotion, rather than attraction. There's a lot of proselytizing and pressure to get what they've got and I wanted it! I would have died to pop but they also preach about integrity and authenticity so lying about popping seemed inappropriate. 

By Sunday evening I was feeling depressed and my ass hurt from sitting. A fellow, popped attendee approached me with the information that my face wore my suffering and he could tell I didn't get it. Thanks for the insight, dude. 

I signed up for the advanced course. Apparently I'm a cynical optimist. 
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3 comments:

  1. AmyNovember 18, 2009 at 11:52 AM

    Tami is a landmark devotee. I hope you do 'pop' and get as much out of it as she has/does.

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  2. Tami MooreNovember 18, 2009 at 3:39 PM

    Eileen, I've never read any of your writing, what a gift you have.

    Landmark...yes the seats always make your butt sore, wish they'd do something about that. 15 years of sore buns have paid off for me and many other friends. The friends I've made out of that program have done some amazing things with their lives, some not, and that's just the way it goes I suppose.

    My boyfriend took The Landmark Forum and Advanced Course while he was going through a divorce and his business partner of 15 years leaving...both in disgusting ways I add. He went through everything so gracefully, not without frustration but he was able not to dwell in it and have it shadow him around. He created a business and personal life that he prefers...on the "other side".

    There are truly some amazing things to dig out and put in the trash about oneself if you're up to it. The clean page you can create for yourself is inspiring!

    Oh and yes you get to use the restroom, there's no whip or chains...to me it's just another course. However, it should be taught in a high school or at least college curriculum. I stay involved off and on because it's easy to get lazy and slip into your knee jerk habits about your self-talk and goals.

    Good luck Eileen!!

    xo

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  3. eileenerbNovember 18, 2009 at 4:23 PM

    Thanks, Tami. I did get a lot out of it. (I've signed up my boys to take it as well but they have to wait almost a year!) I'm just a crab cake today.
    It's so funny that you wrote about knee-jerk reactions cause I just wrote another, more positive post about the forum and it addresses that issue. I didn't know you were a Forum-ite. I do hope it helps me divorce and re-enter the workforce gracefully.
    Take care and thanks again for your comments. --eileen

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