It's all about anticipation.

I recently read somewhere--Lucky magazine or some other fine literary journal--that for most people the anticipation and planning of a vacation is more rewarding than the actual vacation.

There have been times in my sober life when I have missed the anticipation of going out for drinks or to a party more than I think I've missed the actual drinking. That's not true; I'm a liar. Alcohol and opiates were excellent lovers and I miss them, but I did get a special thrill leaving work on a Friday evening to meet people at a bar, or putting on a new dress and heels to wear to a wedding reception. The anticipation of what I was going to drink--icy martini or fragrant goblet of red wine or BOTH!--was delicious. Caroline Knapp describes it well in her memoir, Drinking: A Love Story. I recommend it. I suppose these moments are nice to remember because they are the befores. You know, before I started stumbling around, singing too loudly, repeating myself, or thinking I was really funny or looking super sexy on the dance floor. Let me just say, yuck. Not a great look for a middle-aged mom.


I still get a thrill leaving work on Fridays and heading to a party but now I'm mostly excited about the cake.