Look! Another piece of shrapnel.

I had the realization the other day that the only other person who loves my children unconditionally as much as I do is this man who no longer loves me. It feels so wrong. I miss having a person who delights in my cute kid stories or who I can unabashedly brag to about my boys. Which is why at times I find myself all the way back at the beginning of the grief process, way back at disbelief and denial. Then I notice myself wondering if we'll get back together again and what that would be like. What would he do with that new sofa of his? (It's amazing how quickly I forget how hostile he was in the last year and how he doesn't even seem to like me anymore.) The emotional weather in my head is unpredictable and scary. It's like Denver -- sunny and warm then snowing and frigid.