Escaping from the bad neighborhood in my head.

I was chatting with a friend in the program and she mentioned that she was disposing of some pain meds (oxycodone or something) that had caused her pop to faint and for a minute, as she held them in her palms, she considered popping one just to see what it would be like. "Ah," I said, "you wanted to take a little vacation from you."That's what we addict/alcoholics struggle with: a constant desire to take a break from ourselves.

I have a little voice in my head that tells me I deserve a mini-vacation because I have more stress than the average person --  I'm divorcing, unemployed, getting older, have a funny mole on my back, my guinea pig isn't looking well and my cat is obsessively grooming and licking the fur off his flanks, and my son will be driving in eleven months. You get the idea. I have to tell that little voice to shut the fuck up. It doesn't help to be polite with it. It's like a two-year-old and doesn't respond to any wishy-washiness.

So, what does a junky/drunk/shopaholic do for a mini vacation? Meditation and prayer. Those are the only ways to escape from the bad neighborhood of Me. And they don't leave me with any remorse, resentments or regrets. Try 'em.